The Artifact

The Anthropological Society of New America funded an expedition to the abandoned farms of the Skylands Reserve located within 100 miles of High Point Federal Park. We teamed up with archaeologists from the Archaic History department of Rutgers Federal University – Old Brunswick campus. When evacuating one farmstead we discovered an ancient fertility artifact that was used by farmers to appease the Goddess Mother Nature. It is an artifact made of old style plastic that has retained most of its original colors. It was used to bring rain, ward off pests, and bring harmony to the farmhold that possessed it. Some social historians seem to believe that this religious artifact was actually a plaything for the farm children to learn farming etiquette. They further insist that ancient print-style photographs once existed that revealed this artifact was indeed common to all farmhold children. There is no way of substantiating this since the Great Droughts of 3000 - 3050 CE was followed by the Great Forest Fires of 3050 - 3100 CE. There is ample evidence that this artifact was fashioned to appease the Goddess Mother Nature. For clues we examined how it was designed. It takes the form of a potato with anatomical features added to enhance its human resemblance. Although the potato is brown the other features were colored in garish colors some art historians believe was part of the farmhold folk culture. The anatomical parts are removable to allow the potato to be blessed by the priestess before the farmhold added the features to humanize the religious artifact before its burial in the fields to ensure bountiful harvests. We conclude that Mr. Potato Head was crafted by adults, for adults just to please the Goddess Mother Nature. The findings of this New Jersey Farmhold Expedition will be published in the quarterly The Garden Eden State in the Winter 4000 CE edition published by Rutgers Federal University – Old Brunswick campus.
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